Frozen Words

Like an icicle hanging from the branch of a tree, your words have stayed and lingered and bit me as they clung.

Love you. Miss you.  Want you. Need you.

The base of the ice, where it anchors in my heart.

Love me. Need me. Show me. Leave me.

The dagger’s point, that clamors at my soul.

And like the icicle on the branch, there are only two ways for which your words will leave me, let me go and release me.

By slowly melting and stinging as it drips down my trunk, drops seeping to my core.

Or by breaking loose, taking pieces of me with it and leaving shards of splintered ice and birch and promises on the ground.

However the words leave, they will. And as the ice melts and breaks and washes away, so too does the essence of you.

There may be scars left behind or words splattered on the ground, but there is a spring to cleanse it away.  To bud new leaves and bark and a clean place for rain to fall – and perhaps freeze again.

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Yours truly,

Erin Terese

Believe

I believe that people are inherently good.  That darkness and cruelty comes from hurt within – from our heavy and unhealed emotional wounds.  I believe that if we heal ourselves, and release our buried wounds, we can heal the world.  That if we can get to a place where we see others with our heart, rather than through our lenses of pain and insecurity, we will see the beauty and light within all beings.  I believe that once we can see that light, we will share our love, forgive our neighbors and walk the earth with renewed purpose.

I believe we are far more wonderful than we realize.  That we posses an infinite amount of love and that we are hopeful beings.  I believe we can all access this hope, love and light by taking the time to care for ourselves and by following our intuition.  Once we have begun to heal ourselves, we will begin to see a world of hope, love and light.  From this place we can work together toward building a peaceful and harmonious existence.  One in which all are loved, cared for and at peace.  I believe this is possible.  I feel this through every fiber of my being; from the depths of my soul, through the corners of my heart and within the folds of my mind.

believe

I believe that within all of us lies the magnificence of the Universe and the ability to feel the joy of it all.

Yours truly,

Erin Terese

It’s strange, the feeling of numb.

It’s strange, the feeling of numb.

I normally am overflowing with emotion.  The growing presence of lines on my face pays tribute to the laughter, shock, smiles and awe that are regularly expressed.  Today I am blank – other than some tears that brim in my eyes.  But not wanting to feel them anymore, I push them down and back in as best I can. You can only cry for so long.

A friend of mine was caught in the middle of a senseless act.  I am not at liberty to share her name or information about her as the media is chomping at the bit to share the details with the world, and her family is trying to cope and wrap their head around what took place, what is happening now and what life is going to look like going forward.  I am waiting for details.  Yes, I know she survived, but that is all I know.  Not much detail as to the extent of the injuries or how everything played out.  All I know I have learned from texts, Facebook messages, one 30 second phone call and the dirty details of the incident in general played out on the news.

I can only imagine what is going on in the hospital. What is going on in her mind. How her family feels.

But really, I do not know much.

It is interesting, this feeling of numb.  I could research the psychological reasons why, but I don’t need to.  There is only so much intense emotion your mind can handle, before it starts to administer a natural sedation of sorts.  I am grateful for it.  The time will come when I know what is going on and my emotions can play out in the form of a smile, relief, a tear, worry, concern, happiness… But for now, I will embrace this feeling of numb after almost a full day of intense concern and sadness.

(Just needed to vent a little to you all)

Have you felt the numb?  It’s been a while since I have…

Yours truly,

Erin Terese