I wished so greatly
To tell my dear
Everything he wanted to hear
Words came forth
Time stood still
What happened next
Against my will
Truth sang from my soul
Much to my surprise
He held my hand
With tear filled eyes
Thanking me deeply
Embracing me fully
Loving me sweetly
Accepting me wholly
Yours Truly,
Erin Terese
P.S. Thanks to Daily Prompt Challenge to write without 3 letter words.
“But, Mom…I don’t want to go to sleep” I shouted! Slowly I raised my head to meet her gaze and saw her eyes were brimming with tears. Although I was pulsing with energy and had no desire to sleep, my Catholic guilt kicked in and I could not bare to further exhaust my mother. I hung my head, turned my feet and shuffled down the long lonely hallway to my bedroom.
Ever so lightly, I pushed my bedroom door, causing it to swing open and reveal my haven – four eggshell walls with one hanging mirror and two large windows. A tall, wooden chest of drawers and small bookshelf held most of my worldly possessions – including my favorite teddy bear, teeny tiny animal figurines and rock collection. A soft powder blue comforter with small white and yellow flowers draped across my Queen size bed. It was much too large for a girl my age, but I was ever so grateful my Aunt gifted it to me when she moved. Since my family didn’t have much money, it was quite the luxury item.
Already dressed for bed and teeth brushed, I plopped down on my mattress, laid back and relaxed. Fluffing the pillow underneath my head, I stared at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and braced myself for what I knew would be hours before I’d be able to drift into dreamland.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
My warm brown eyes turned to the doorway where my beautiful mother stood. She walked over to my bed, leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Good night, sweet angel” she whispered and floated out of the room, closing the door behind her and extinguishing the light. “Good night, Mom!” I said loudly and wondered if she heard me.
Just then, a cool gentle breeze swept through the open window, caressing my face and bringing me back to the present moment. Falling asleep was never an easy task for me. I would much rather have been sitting on the couch, falling asleep to the glow of the TV than try and attempt this. My mind was active; I knew this to be true. No other children seemed to speak about this problem, so I assumed it was something only I dealt with. I hoped that I was not the only one, but I dared not risk embarrassing myself by asking a schoolmate.
My inner dialogue was intense and draining. I often tried to quiet my mind, but was unable.
Thoughts to myself: It must be so much easier as an adult! No one tells you what to do. No one questions your every move. No one discounts the value of your opinion. Being a kid is hard! I don’t feel like a young, naive child like the adults view me. While my parents claim to understand me, I know that they don’t really understand me. I know this because when I asked them if I could fly to Grandpa’s funeral in order to say goodbye, they firmly said “No”. I mean, I know that our family isn’t rich and that we cannot afford to send everyone, but I want to go. I need to go and say goodbye to him. I cried, and begged, and pleaded. But since I am a young girl that just barely learned to tie her shoes, they do not understand why it is necessary for me.
(And so begins the rambling dialogue in my mind)
My mind: WHY? Why is this? Why won’t they listen to me? Hello! Is anyone listening? God? An angel? Future self? A ghost? Someone please answer. I am so lost…
Whispers in the Night: Yes, I hear you, my darling. You have to forgive your parents, for they are just doing their best to care for you and your family.
My Mind: But if they really wanted to care for me and do what is best, wouldn’t they allow me to go and say goodbye? I shunned my grandfather the last time I saw him. My parents told me he was sick, so I refused to hug him. It was only later I learned I could not catch his illness. They promised me I could hug him the next time I saw him and that it would be okay. And now he is dead. Shouldn’t they understand that I need to tell him I’m sorry and say goodbye?
Whispers in the Night: I know that is how you would like them to react. They are your parents and you have been taught that they are there to take care of you and do what is best for you. My dear, you need to realize they were children just like you once. They make mistakes. They are not perfect. They do love you and you should not fault them for not understanding how important this is to you.
My Mind: But I am just so angry and hurt.
Whispers in the Night: That is part of the grieving process. It is completely natural to be hurting. Your parents, sister and the rest of your family are hurting too. Trust me, your grandfather knows you love him.
My Mind: Does he?
Whispers in the Night: Yes.
My Mind: Are you sure he knows?
Whispers in the Night: Yes, I am sure.
Thoughts to myself: Oh this is so infuriating! Who is this voice that is answering me? Okay, okay, so maybe my parents do make mistakes. But, hello! This is one of those mistakes! I swear I will not be this way as an adult. I will listen to my child and know that their opinion and the words they speak have value. When I am an adult, I will remember how smart I was as a child and just how angry it made me when people spoke down to me for being “just a kid”. Humph! How can they overlook my aching heart and ignore my well spoken plea? I wonder why they don’t understand me.
My Mind: Hello? Are you still there? Why don’t my parents know that I am smart?
Whispers in the Night: They know you are smart. They know you are kind. They just do not remember what it is like to be a child. They forget how confusing of a time it is and they are too wrapped up in their daily routines to take the time and remember.
My Mind: Oh. So what should I do?
Whispers in the Night: You should understand that your parents are human and make mistakes. You should forgive them, love them, and not hold every little thing you do not like against them. You should send a prayer to your grandfather and tell him goodbye; this will help you heal your heart. You may not see him or hear his voice, but know that he loves you.
My Mind: But can’t you help me find a way to convince them I need to go?
Whispers in the Night: I am sorry my dear, I cannot. You need to accept that you will not attend the funeral, and that it is okay you are not present. You can say goodbye from the privacy of your room and he will hear you just the same.
My Mind: Are you sure?
Whispers in the Night: Yes, I am sure.
My Mind: Thank you for helping me to understand. Are you God? Are you an Angel? Who are you?
Whispers in the Night: Sweet girl, it doesn’t matter who or what I am. I am here to help guide you. I will always be here for you.
My Mind: But how will I find you?
Whispers in the Night: You will find me the same way that you did tonight. Just quiet your mind, focus your question and ask. Then be silent and I will whisper to you. I am here now, and will always be here with you. Now go to sleep, my darling.
My Mind: Ok, I will try.
Thoughts to myself: I feel so much better! I cannot wait to be an adult. I wonder when I will find out who guided me tonight. I bet I will know when I am an adult. I think it was God. Well, maybe God’s voice sounded a little too much like my own. Mom always talks about guardian angels, maybe it was an angel? Dad loves science fiction, so maybe it was future me giving young me advice? That’d be cool! Wow, I sure can’t wait to be an adult so I can figure it all out. Adults have it so easy.
THE END
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
I am extremely flattered and excited that Miss Erin Terese has been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award! A big, huge thanks to Lu at LuSays for following and nominating this blog for the award. Lu, I find your blog to be so very candid and lovely, and am so thrilled you find mine to be lovely also.
When you accept this award, you must:
Seven things about Miss Erin Terese
1) My full name is Erin Terese Stafford
2) I am turning 30 in a few months and could not be happier about it. Each day I become happier, more peaceful, more patient and more kind. How could I not embrace my age? I love it.
3) I love trying new things. Trapeze class? Sky diving? Yoga? Painting? Cooking? Count me in!
4) As much as I enjoy writing, sharing my stories and babbling on about my thoughts and ideas, I much prefer to hear other people speak. Listening to others gives me profound joy.
5) I cry a lot. Growing up I always thought my mom was ridiculous for crying at Hallmark commercials and in church. I get it now. I no longer restrain myself.
6) I have been a Pescetarian for the last 16 years and eat mostly organic. I believe whole natural foods are vital to our health and much more healing than most people realize.
7) I would love to live in Spain someday. Life there is just beautiful. There is such an appreciation for life, food, family and culture. I must go back!
Blogs that I find to be quite lovely
Thank you for following and for sharing your thoughts!
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
The Daily Post issued a Photo Challenge asking bloggers to share a photo of what Renewal looks like to them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is all about timing. If you ask any one person the same question during different times in their life, you will most likely receive very different answers.
Over the weekend I went on a short trip to Palm Springs with a girlfriend of mine. We both had a three day weekend and were in desperate need of a mini getaway. Luckily, it didn’t take long before the fresh air, beautiful scenery and friendly locals had us smiling from ear to ear. While our bodies were tired from exploring, our minds were alert and thriving on the beauty around us and wonderful conversation. Before leaving the hotel, we decided to lay by the pool in our clothes and let the sun wash over us. Grateful for the trip and our shared joy, we laid back and let the sun shine upon us, bathing us in her beauty.
As I reclined in my lounge chair, spirit soaring with peace and renewed energy, I snapped this shot.
Yes, this is renewal. Fresh air. Nature. A good friend. Sunshine.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
When I look back at my childhood, there are certain phrases I remember hearing over and over again. The one that rings most clearly in my mind is “everything in moderation”. I cannot tell you how many times I heard this! Every time I would ask for another serving of ice cream. Every time I wanted to watch just one more television program before bed. Every time I begged to stay longer at the park. “Everything in moderation, my dear” was the standard response. Humph! What’s one more little scoop, one more sitcom or 30 more measly minutes at the park?
Thankfully as an adult, I understand that the line needs to be drawn somewhere. There are only so many calories in a pound, so many hours to sleep, and so much free time in the day. In order to accomplish all the tasks at hand and to keep a healthy mind and body, we must find the right balance and keep “everything in moderation”. The problem here is, what is moderation? How much is moderation? The answer is: it varies from person to person. This means we must be mindful in the choices we make.
Finding and maintaining balance is an ongoing effort. Life is constantly changing. We have new jobs, new spouses, new houses, new debt, new friends, new stress and new health problems to balance. Figuring out what is a perfect balance is no simple task. Pay attention to how much time, money and energy you are expelling in each area. It may help to make a list of your top priorities. For example, mine are: 1) Family/Friends 2) Health & Fitness 3) Leisure Activities 4) Work and 5) Creative Outlet.
Once you have a clear idea of where your priorities lie, then you can look at your life and make an honest assessment of how well you balance those things. You may find that you do an excellent job and are totally at peace with yourself. Good for you! But if you feel exhausted or stretched too thin, chances are you are putting more effort in to one of your priorities that doesn’t need it, and not enough in one of the others. Balance. Moderation is key. If you can identify an area that is lacking your attention, make a shift and try to find the balance. And by balance I do not mean equal amounts, I mean the right proportion. Maybe you will only need to focus a small percentage of time and energy in one category and much more in another.
Just be honest with yourself and know that some days and weeks your balance will need to be adjusted. Listen to your body, to your mind and to the world around you. Take into consideration all you need and all you want. Somewhere in there is your balance – your moderation.
Not everything we learn as children is correct. In fact, much of it is not – but these words ring true: “Everything in moderation, my dear”.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
I am taking a leap of faith and following my instincts.
Like a five year old child, unable to sleep, knowing that there will be presents under the Christmas tree in the morning. Like the scent of rain on the wind, long before the forecast was checked or a dark cloud seen. Like the moment just before your lips touch your lover’s for the first time, locking in a passionate kiss. Yes, just like that, I can feel something good is coming.
For most of my life, I have trusted my logical mind. When push came to shove and important choices needed to be made, logic won over emotions and feelings almost every time. This type of thinking kept me safe and secure, but did not do a wonderful job of making me feel happy and satisfied. I was still longing for more, without really knowing what more I was looking for. Over the past few years I have tried to find a better balance of following my mind, my heart and instinct. Not surprisingly, the main thing holding me back was fear. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of being judged. Fear of failing.
Thankfully I realized the fear holding me back could only be released by me. After all, it was placed there by me, so it was going to be up to me to figure it all out. That kind of work must be done within. As much as I love the idea of throwing money at the situation to fix it or using a Band-Aid to cover it up, no dollar amount or bandage can fix the fear – it can only be released by the owner and operator, Yours Truly.
Right now I am in a really good place. This past year I have been picking up speed like a snowball turning into an avalanche (just ask my friends). I am releasing my past. Confronting my demons. Facing my fears. Taking on challenges. Falling down, dusting off, and trying again! Listening to my body. Quieting my mind. Following my spiritual light. I am learning to trust (and rely on) my feelings and emotions more than my logical mind. This is huge for me.
So here we are on this journey. And I do not say we just to engage you, dear reader. I say it because we are all on a journey together right now – this is part of the change I feel. Recently, I have seen strangers becoming kinder and more patient. I have watched close friends and family become more open and vulnerable. I have witnessed physical, mental and spiritual transformations result from the simple thought of wanting a better life. These changes are not a result of a longing for more money or fame. These changes are happening because we as humans are awakening to an inner desire to become the truest and best version of our self – whatever that may be. We are trying.
“For those of you who don’t know, December 21st 2012 is regarded as the end of a 5,125-year-long cycle in the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar otherwise known as the Mayan Calendar. New age interpretation of this date is that it marks the start of a time in which Earth and its inhabitants will undergo a positive physical or spiritual transformation, and that it may mark the beginning of a new era (Note: Various astronomical alignments and numerological formulae have pointed to this date though it’s still debatable).” – The Lotus Effect.
I am taking a leap of faith and following my instincts. Something good is coming.
All I know for sure, is that it is my job to prepare for it. Not the typical preparedness that involves formal education or purchasing emergency goods, but rather internal preparedness. I have never been this focused or passionate about caring for my mind, body and soul and helping others around me. I know with every fiber of my being, that now is a time to feed my body nutrient rich food, sleep well, exercise and purify my body of toxins. That now is a time to quiet my mind and be open to new possibilities. Now is a time to be patient, forgiving and speak with more love than ever before.
Yes, just like that, I can feel something good is coming.
What have you been experiencing? Any tips, advice or ideas to share? Please, all thoughts are welcome. We are in this together.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
The Daily Post has issued a Weekly Writing Challenge to finish the sentence: “I wish I were”.
I have spent a lot of time learning to love and accept myself for all that I am and not to dwell on the things I wish I were. I have made the choice to change the things in my life that I wish were different, either by action or perception. But for the sake of the question, I will play along. Maybe I wish I were able to fly? Maybe I wish I were wealthy or a Nobel Peace Prize Winner? Yes, those things would be nice, but the answer does not satisfy me. In order to find the answer, I quieted my mind. Completely void of all thought, I posed the statement again. Ah, yes. My answer. My truth. My greatest wish.
I wish I were able to share the joy of loving yourself.
If someone had asked me five years ago if I loved myself, I would have rolled my eyes, answered “yes” and thought to myself what a ridiculous question that was. Of course I loved myself. Maybe someone with low self-esteem or battling depression would answer that they don’t love themself, but c’mon, the majority of us love ourselves. Don’t we?
Today I would argue there are many people that do not truly love themselves. Why do I believe that, you ask? Every time I hear someone tease or bully, I do not hear love, I hear fear. When I listen to someone boast at length why they are the best on their team, the smartest in their office or the most good-looking person at the beach, I do not hear love, I hear insecurity. When I hear people gossip or speak negatively of others and belittle other opinions, I do not hear love, I hear a plea to be accepted.
In my experience, realizing you truly love yourself is like the first time you have a serious crush, and you wonder if you are in love. You think you might be in love. You think you are. This has to be love, you assure yourself. Then one day, you really fall in love. Head over heels, shout it from the rooftop, make your head spin and your knees weak, love. And once you recognize that you are in fact in love with this person, you realize the time(s) you thought you were in love, you really weren’t. Yes, you loved and cared for the person, but you were not in love with them. This is love. Now that you know what being in love is, you can hardly believe you thought you were in love before.
When you are in love with someone, you want nothing more than for them to be happy. Their joy brings you joy. When they are sad, hurt, grief stricken or filled with sorrow, you would give your left arm for them to smile again. Their success is your success. You are willing to move cities, change jobs, cancel plans, quit smoking, lose weight, attain more education, all to make them happy. Their happiness is your happiness. This is love.
Here is a little food for thought. Are you willing to move cities, change jobs, cancel plans, quit smoking, lose weight, attain more education, in order to make yourself happy? Do you have faith in yourself? Do you believe you are worthy of love and all of the good things in your life? Do you believe you deserve to be treated well, with kindness, honesty and compassion? It took me years of self-reflection and working on myself to reach the point where I can say “yes” to all with complete confidence.
A few years ago, I decided to finally put myself first. I realized that the key to happiness could only be found within and that I needed to fully explore what that really meant. I removed all previous notions about what I thought I needed to be happy and started to pursue the people and activities that brought me happiness. During my period of self exploration (which is now ongoing) I learned a lot about myself, the need for forgiveness, the importance of acceptance and how to be patient. I learned to just be. I learned to exist in the moment and to be happy with who I am.
Years ago, I never would have been able to say out loud that I am proud of myself. Now, I can tell you that I love how kind and accepting I have become. I think it is wonderful that people can change and that I give them a second (and sometimes a third and fourth) chance. I think my sensitivity and vulnerability is beautiful and strong. I think it’s endearing how gullible I am – it means I am a believer. I love how open and resilient my heart is. I am grateful I see the world in all its many shades and revel in the beauty. I love that I enjoy spending time alone as well as making hoards of new friends. I love that I love me.
This love I have found for myself has taught me to be patient, kind and accepting. Loving myself makes me love the world more and all of the people, creatures and plants within it. I wake up alone every morning, feeling more loved than I ever could have imagined someone could feel on their own. I wish that everyone knew this kind of peace. This kind of joy.
I wish I were able to share the joy of loving yourself.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
There were a number of things that I was expecting to happen during my Sober October. I expected to have more time to work on side projects, extra energy from eating healthier and resting more, and weight loss from not drinking and increased physical activity. As expected, all of my expectations came to fruition. Oddly enough, the most difficult to measure was the weight loss. This could have been the easiest to measure if I owned a scale or had taken measurements of my body, but I did not.
I wouldn’t say that I have body image issues, but I have found myself in the past becoming obsessed with the scale. If the scale said I gained 1.5 lbs, or heaven forbid 5 lbs, losing it became my primary focus. I wouldn’t feel pretty or desired until I could get the number back to where I wanted it. This pressure and obsession added so much stress and was completely unnecessary. Once I realized that the scale was doing me more harm than good, I ditched the scale and tried to maintain my weight (or lose weight) based off of how my clothes fit, how I felt and how I looked naked standing in front of the mirror.
It’s been almost two years since my last serious weight loss attempt. Generally I don’t wear very much makeup or spend too much time doing my hair, so I really don’t spend a lot of time in front of the mirror. The week we started Sober October, I took a nice long look at my body to see where I was starting and decided to do weekly mirror checkups in order to track my progress. By the start of week two, I could already see that my stomach was flatter. I was expecting even more progress by the start of week three. So there I was, standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror two Sundays ago, eyeing my body for progress, and it looked the same. Frustrated, I twisted and turned, sucked in my stomach and flexed my muscles – no apparent weight loss. But then I noticed something. I pulled my face closer to the mirror and there they were: wrinkles.
I had seen them before, but never paid them much attention. I stared and gazed. I winked, smiled, frowned, feigned shock and watched the lines move with my face – and watched some stay. Curiously, I looked back over the rest of my naked body and analyzed it with new eyes. Nothing drastically different, but somewhere along the line my body became that of a woman. I have always had a curvy, feminine figure, but I no longer looked like a girl. I looked like a woman. You would not see my body and mistake me for a girl.
This was not what I was expecting to happen this month.
Obviously I am aware that I am not a young girl anymore – I am 29 years old and will turn 30 in March. I am an extremely self-sufficient adult, motivated and independent. How is it just now hitting me that I am a woman and no longer a girl? Maybe it is because I am single and without children. Maybe if I were married with kids, I would have recognized the change earlier. Not that there even was so much of a change, but more of a progression.
I have been so wrapped up in “finding myself” and learning to find peace, compassion and patience. So much time spent healing issues from my past and learning to manage stress and everyday living. It has taken me a long time to learn how to be present and live fully within the moment. The one thing I forgot to do was to look at myself with a fresh set of eyes. To ask myself: Who is this person before me? Tell me about her. What do you think about her?
I answered very honestly.
Strangely, I have a new found respect for myself and my body. There is no doubt that I have high self-esteem, that I love and appreciate who I am, but this month I found respect for myself.
It’s interesting when we have our Aha moments; you never quite know what will trigger them or what you will discover.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
P.S. What Aha moments have you had? How did it happen and what did you realize?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do some of my best thinking while driving in my car.
This has been an interesting week and month – lots of thinking to be done. When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining and there was a dusting of clouds against the beautiful blue sky, and I felt renewed. This was going to be a good day. I could feel it! I shared a few positive tweets, Facebook messages and texts, and my heart swelled with love. Finally, I was back in the peaceful state of mind I have grown accustomed to over the past few years. The struggles I had been rolling over in my mind melted away and I allowed the light and love to pour into me.
While driving in my car, I tried to recall what I had done that brought me back. What had happened that brought me back to this wonderful state of calm? Instantly I realized that I had restored the balance in my mind, body and heart. I have been working toward realigning my mind to a peaceful place, my body to be healthy and thriving, and my heart to be open. Mind, body and heart. Mind, body and heart. Today they aligned and I feel beautiful, loved and capable. Mind, body and heart. The trinity of me. The trinity of you. The three things we must align for a peaceful and loving life. Wait, did I just say trinity? As in the Holy Trinity, like Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
Stay with me for a sec. This is where I started to trip out too.
I have long since believed that religion and our view of God is a way for us to understand life, how things work and how we work. Each religion takes a different perspective on what/who God is and what all of that means. I was raised Catholic, but have distanced myself from the Church as there were too many things that did not align with what I felt in my heart. And the idea of God floating up in the clouds looking down on us, just didn’t feel right to me. I feel like God is something that unites us all and is present in everything, but I have yet to fully understand this and I am working on connecting the pieces. Yes, there are some Catholic beliefs I do not agree with; but there are many wonderful things I have learned that have stuck with me. All of the lessons about being kind, how to treat your neighbor and how to treat and respect yourself – those lessons are tucked within the folds of my heart and ever present in my mind. Lessons about being kind, loving and grateful. Lessons about sympathy, empathy and doing what is right. Lessons on forgiveness, love and family. You find such lessons in most religions. Most religions emphasize the importance of caring for your mind, caring for your body and caring for your heart (soul).
In my recent quest to find myself and a greater meaning for my life, I have been paying a lot of attention to other peoples’ views, ideas and feelings. I have been reading and listening to the thoughts of others with a careful ear and open mind and heart. There is an idea out there, a belief, that we are God. God lives within us. We are all connected and are a manifestation of God. When the word trinity rolled through my mind today, I thought I might just be on to something here. I have long believed that we interpret certain universal truths the best way our human minds can, and assign them names and values to the best of our ability. Words like God, soul, love, connection, dream, devil, redemption, miracle, right and wrong – all ascribed to feelings we try to understand.
Now, here comes my moment of revelation. My thought: during mass and prayer, it is common practice to say “The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” while signing the cross on your body. The Father: touch your forehead (the mind). The son: touch your lower chest or navel (body). And the Holy Spirit: touch each shoulder once (your heart and soul lies within). Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of this.
I am getting closer. This makes sense. Mind, body and heart.
I really do some of my best thinking while driving in my car.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
P.S. What do you think? I welcome any comments or feedback. Still mulling this over…
It’s strange, the feeling of numb.
I normally am overflowing with emotion. The growing presence of lines on my face pays tribute to the laughter, shock, smiles and awe that are regularly expressed. Today I am blank – other than some tears that brim in my eyes. But not wanting to feel them anymore, I push them down and back in as best I can. You can only cry for so long.
A friend of mine was caught in the middle of a senseless act. I am not at liberty to share her name or information about her as the media is chomping at the bit to share the details with the world, and her family is trying to cope and wrap their head around what took place, what is happening now and what life is going to look like going forward. I am waiting for details. Yes, I know she survived, but that is all I know. Not much detail as to the extent of the injuries or how everything played out. All I know I have learned from texts, Facebook messages, one 30 second phone call and the dirty details of the incident in general played out on the news.
I can only imagine what is going on in the hospital. What is going on in her mind. How her family feels.
But really, I do not know much.
It is interesting, this feeling of numb. I could research the psychological reasons why, but I don’t need to. There is only so much intense emotion your mind can handle, before it starts to administer a natural sedation of sorts. I am grateful for it. The time will come when I know what is going on and my emotions can play out in the form of a smile, relief, a tear, worry, concern, happiness… But for now, I will embrace this feeling of numb after almost a full day of intense concern and sadness.
(Just needed to vent a little to you all)
Have you felt the numb? It’s been a while since I have…
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
erin terese 