After a lovely weekend of serendipity and destiny and truly present moments:
I am so very grateful for the people in my life and those that have crossed my path. Words will never express the depth of my gratitude.
Thank you all for sharing your authentic selves.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
Last week I gathered with seven of my girlfriends for a lovely Vegan Thanksgiving Dinner. We have been having meatless dinners every two weeks for the past five months and creating delicious meals that feed our bodies, nourish our souls, and we also happen to have fabulous conversation and wine to wash it all down. When we first began to meet, we crafted our shared mission, laid out our guidelines and thus began our journey. The thing about journeys, as we have all learned, is that there is so much that is unplanned. And there in the life and the ish and the serendipity lies the magic.
Thanksgiving is not a Holiday that I normally feel very strongly about. By now we know that Christopher Columbus was not a very good man and that what was done to the Native Americans was cruel and wrong on so many levels. But we Americans continue to celebrate regardless. Hopefully most people embrace this holiday as a chance to reflect on what they are thankful for, what makes them grateful and then share these feelings with close friends and family. I’m not sure about most families, but mine doesn’t typically reflect aloud (although I don’t believe I have ever initiated or suggested that we do). I simply take a moment and say my thanks within my mind, and maybe send a few thankful texts and a Facebook shout out.
During our Vegan Thanksgiving Dinner, my amazing friend Kat mentioned that we forgot to say our thanks. Wait, people actually do that? The idea excited me, but I was immediately struck with the thought Oh, crap! Now I need to think of something quick. How do you say on the spot what you are thankful for? Luckily I was second to last, so I had a little time to formulate my answer. As my friends began to speak, I couldn’t help but to hang on their every word and was completely moved by their answers. Thanks was given for friendship while husbands were away on military leave. For friendship during breakups and makeups and hard times. For nieces and nephews. For making new friends, having a safe place to speak and empathetic ears to bend. For new jobs and traveling adventures. For fertility treatment and twins on the way. For health and success in business.
While my friends were speaking, I was hit with my answer: I am thankful to be living now, in this day and age. As a 29 year old single female, I cannot tell you how glad I am to be living in this era. As women in America, we have the freedom to live our lives as we choose. Up until recently, women have had to abide by the the lifestyle laid out before them. This usually consisted of marriage, a lot of babies and tending to the home. In the last century, women in America have been making great strides. We can be gay, straight, bisexual, single, married, divorced, educated, fit, overweight, employed, living on welfare, vote, travel, follow whichever religion we choose, pursue whatever career we like, have children, not have children, garden, have a personal chef. We have the technology, the freedom and the education to play a hand in our fate. We are empowered.
I can choose the life I want and pursue it with little judgment. Obviously there is judgment in the world, but there is more acceptance and tolerance than ever before. There is someone in your corner now, cheering you on and propelling you forward. A century ago, I would have been considered an old hag. Too old to marry. An outcast. Or most likely, I would have fallen in line with the steps of society: married, working in the home and having my fourth child. I am so grateful for the life I lead. My friends and family accept me, I pursue every passion and idea that crosses my mind and strikes my fancy, and I express myself openly and share myself fully. I know that for every person that judges me, there is someone else reaching out to give me a hug and thank me for being my authentic self.
I am thankful to be empowered.
I am thankful to be living now, in this day and age.
What are you thankful for?
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
I wished so greatly
To tell my dear
Everything he wanted to hear
Words came forth
Time stood still
What happened next
Against my will
Truth sang from my soul
Much to my surprise
He held my hand
With tear filled eyes
Thanking me deeply
Embracing me fully
Loving me sweetly
Accepting me wholly
Yours Truly,
Erin Terese
P.S. Thanks to Daily Prompt Challenge to write without 3 letter words.
I am extremely flattered and excited that Miss Erin Terese has been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award! A big, huge thanks to Lu at LuSays for following and nominating this blog for the award. Lu, I find your blog to be so very candid and lovely, and am so thrilled you find mine to be lovely also.
When you accept this award, you must:
Seven things about Miss Erin Terese
1) My full name is Erin Terese Stafford
2) I am turning 30 in a few months and could not be happier about it. Each day I become happier, more peaceful, more patient and more kind. How could I not embrace my age? I love it.
3) I love trying new things. Trapeze class? Sky diving? Yoga? Painting? Cooking? Count me in!
4) As much as I enjoy writing, sharing my stories and babbling on about my thoughts and ideas, I much prefer to hear other people speak. Listening to others gives me profound joy.
5) I cry a lot. Growing up I always thought my mom was ridiculous for crying at Hallmark commercials and in church. I get it now. I no longer restrain myself.
6) I have been a Pescetarian for the last 16 years and eat mostly organic. I believe whole natural foods are vital to our health and much more healing than most people realize.
7) I would love to live in Spain someday. Life there is just beautiful. There is such an appreciation for life, food, family and culture. I must go back!
Blogs that I find to be quite lovely
Thank you for following and for sharing your thoughts!
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
When I look back at my childhood, there are certain phrases I remember hearing over and over again. The one that rings most clearly in my mind is “everything in moderation”. I cannot tell you how many times I heard this! Every time I would ask for another serving of ice cream. Every time I wanted to watch just one more television program before bed. Every time I begged to stay longer at the park. “Everything in moderation, my dear” was the standard response. Humph! What’s one more little scoop, one more sitcom or 30 more measly minutes at the park?
Thankfully as an adult, I understand that the line needs to be drawn somewhere. There are only so many calories in a pound, so many hours to sleep, and so much free time in the day. In order to accomplish all the tasks at hand and to keep a healthy mind and body, we must find the right balance and keep “everything in moderation”. The problem here is, what is moderation? How much is moderation? The answer is: it varies from person to person. This means we must be mindful in the choices we make.
Finding and maintaining balance is an ongoing effort. Life is constantly changing. We have new jobs, new spouses, new houses, new debt, new friends, new stress and new health problems to balance. Figuring out what is a perfect balance is no simple task. Pay attention to how much time, money and energy you are expelling in each area. It may help to make a list of your top priorities. For example, mine are: 1) Family/Friends 2) Health & Fitness 3) Leisure Activities 4) Work and 5) Creative Outlet.
Once you have a clear idea of where your priorities lie, then you can look at your life and make an honest assessment of how well you balance those things. You may find that you do an excellent job and are totally at peace with yourself. Good for you! But if you feel exhausted or stretched too thin, chances are you are putting more effort in to one of your priorities that doesn’t need it, and not enough in one of the others. Balance. Moderation is key. If you can identify an area that is lacking your attention, make a shift and try to find the balance. And by balance I do not mean equal amounts, I mean the right proportion. Maybe you will only need to focus a small percentage of time and energy in one category and much more in another.
Just be honest with yourself and know that some days and weeks your balance will need to be adjusted. Listen to your body, to your mind and to the world around you. Take into consideration all you need and all you want. Somewhere in there is your balance – your moderation.
Not everything we learn as children is correct. In fact, much of it is not – but these words ring true: “Everything in moderation, my dear”.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
I am taking a leap of faith and following my instincts.
Like a five year old child, unable to sleep, knowing that there will be presents under the Christmas tree in the morning. Like the scent of rain on the wind, long before the forecast was checked or a dark cloud seen. Like the moment just before your lips touch your lover’s for the first time, locking in a passionate kiss. Yes, just like that, I can feel something good is coming.
For most of my life, I have trusted my logical mind. When push came to shove and important choices needed to be made, logic won over emotions and feelings almost every time. This type of thinking kept me safe and secure, but did not do a wonderful job of making me feel happy and satisfied. I was still longing for more, without really knowing what more I was looking for. Over the past few years I have tried to find a better balance of following my mind, my heart and instinct. Not surprisingly, the main thing holding me back was fear. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of being judged. Fear of failing.
Thankfully I realized the fear holding me back could only be released by me. After all, it was placed there by me, so it was going to be up to me to figure it all out. That kind of work must be done within. As much as I love the idea of throwing money at the situation to fix it or using a Band-Aid to cover it up, no dollar amount or bandage can fix the fear – it can only be released by the owner and operator, Yours Truly.
Right now I am in a really good place. This past year I have been picking up speed like a snowball turning into an avalanche (just ask my friends). I am releasing my past. Confronting my demons. Facing my fears. Taking on challenges. Falling down, dusting off, and trying again! Listening to my body. Quieting my mind. Following my spiritual light. I am learning to trust (and rely on) my feelings and emotions more than my logical mind. This is huge for me.
So here we are on this journey. And I do not say we just to engage you, dear reader. I say it because we are all on a journey together right now – this is part of the change I feel. Recently, I have seen strangers becoming kinder and more patient. I have watched close friends and family become more open and vulnerable. I have witnessed physical, mental and spiritual transformations result from the simple thought of wanting a better life. These changes are not a result of a longing for more money or fame. These changes are happening because we as humans are awakening to an inner desire to become the truest and best version of our self – whatever that may be. We are trying.
“For those of you who don’t know, December 21st 2012 is regarded as the end of a 5,125-year-long cycle in the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar otherwise known as the Mayan Calendar. New age interpretation of this date is that it marks the start of a time in which Earth and its inhabitants will undergo a positive physical or spiritual transformation, and that it may mark the beginning of a new era (Note: Various astronomical alignments and numerological formulae have pointed to this date though it’s still debatable).” – The Lotus Effect.
I am taking a leap of faith and following my instincts. Something good is coming.
All I know for sure, is that it is my job to prepare for it. Not the typical preparedness that involves formal education or purchasing emergency goods, but rather internal preparedness. I have never been this focused or passionate about caring for my mind, body and soul and helping others around me. I know with every fiber of my being, that now is a time to feed my body nutrient rich food, sleep well, exercise and purify my body of toxins. That now is a time to quiet my mind and be open to new possibilities. Now is a time to be patient, forgiving and speak with more love than ever before.
Yes, just like that, I can feel something good is coming.
What have you been experiencing? Any tips, advice or ideas to share? Please, all thoughts are welcome. We are in this together.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
The Daily Post has issued a Weekly Writing Challenge to finish the sentence: “I wish I were”.
I have spent a lot of time learning to love and accept myself for all that I am and not to dwell on the things I wish I were. I have made the choice to change the things in my life that I wish were different, either by action or perception. But for the sake of the question, I will play along. Maybe I wish I were able to fly? Maybe I wish I were wealthy or a Nobel Peace Prize Winner? Yes, those things would be nice, but the answer does not satisfy me. In order to find the answer, I quieted my mind. Completely void of all thought, I posed the statement again. Ah, yes. My answer. My truth. My greatest wish.
I wish I were able to share the joy of loving yourself.
If someone had asked me five years ago if I loved myself, I would have rolled my eyes, answered “yes” and thought to myself what a ridiculous question that was. Of course I loved myself. Maybe someone with low self-esteem or battling depression would answer that they don’t love themself, but c’mon, the majority of us love ourselves. Don’t we?
Today I would argue there are many people that do not truly love themselves. Why do I believe that, you ask? Every time I hear someone tease or bully, I do not hear love, I hear fear. When I listen to someone boast at length why they are the best on their team, the smartest in their office or the most good-looking person at the beach, I do not hear love, I hear insecurity. When I hear people gossip or speak negatively of others and belittle other opinions, I do not hear love, I hear a plea to be accepted.
In my experience, realizing you truly love yourself is like the first time you have a serious crush, and you wonder if you are in love. You think you might be in love. You think you are. This has to be love, you assure yourself. Then one day, you really fall in love. Head over heels, shout it from the rooftop, make your head spin and your knees weak, love. And once you recognize that you are in fact in love with this person, you realize the time(s) you thought you were in love, you really weren’t. Yes, you loved and cared for the person, but you were not in love with them. This is love. Now that you know what being in love is, you can hardly believe you thought you were in love before.
When you are in love with someone, you want nothing more than for them to be happy. Their joy brings you joy. When they are sad, hurt, grief stricken or filled with sorrow, you would give your left arm for them to smile again. Their success is your success. You are willing to move cities, change jobs, cancel plans, quit smoking, lose weight, attain more education, all to make them happy. Their happiness is your happiness. This is love.
Here is a little food for thought. Are you willing to move cities, change jobs, cancel plans, quit smoking, lose weight, attain more education, in order to make yourself happy? Do you have faith in yourself? Do you believe you are worthy of love and all of the good things in your life? Do you believe you deserve to be treated well, with kindness, honesty and compassion? It took me years of self-reflection and working on myself to reach the point where I can say “yes” to all with complete confidence.
A few years ago, I decided to finally put myself first. I realized that the key to happiness could only be found within and that I needed to fully explore what that really meant. I removed all previous notions about what I thought I needed to be happy and started to pursue the people and activities that brought me happiness. During my period of self exploration (which is now ongoing) I learned a lot about myself, the need for forgiveness, the importance of acceptance and how to be patient. I learned to just be. I learned to exist in the moment and to be happy with who I am.
Years ago, I never would have been able to say out loud that I am proud of myself. Now, I can tell you that I love how kind and accepting I have become. I think it is wonderful that people can change and that I give them a second (and sometimes a third and fourth) chance. I think my sensitivity and vulnerability is beautiful and strong. I think it’s endearing how gullible I am – it means I am a believer. I love how open and resilient my heart is. I am grateful I see the world in all its many shades and revel in the beauty. I love that I enjoy spending time alone as well as making hoards of new friends. I love that I love me.
This love I have found for myself has taught me to be patient, kind and accepting. Loving myself makes me love the world more and all of the people, creatures and plants within it. I wake up alone every morning, feeling more loved than I ever could have imagined someone could feel on their own. I wish that everyone knew this kind of peace. This kind of joy.
I wish I were able to share the joy of loving yourself.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do some of my best thinking while driving in my car.
This has been an interesting week and month – lots of thinking to be done. When I woke up this morning, the sun was shining and there was a dusting of clouds against the beautiful blue sky, and I felt renewed. This was going to be a good day. I could feel it! I shared a few positive tweets, Facebook messages and texts, and my heart swelled with love. Finally, I was back in the peaceful state of mind I have grown accustomed to over the past few years. The struggles I had been rolling over in my mind melted away and I allowed the light and love to pour into me.
While driving in my car, I tried to recall what I had done that brought me back. What had happened that brought me back to this wonderful state of calm? Instantly I realized that I had restored the balance in my mind, body and heart. I have been working toward realigning my mind to a peaceful place, my body to be healthy and thriving, and my heart to be open. Mind, body and heart. Mind, body and heart. Today they aligned and I feel beautiful, loved and capable. Mind, body and heart. The trinity of me. The trinity of you. The three things we must align for a peaceful and loving life. Wait, did I just say trinity? As in the Holy Trinity, like Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
Stay with me for a sec. This is where I started to trip out too.
I have long since believed that religion and our view of God is a way for us to understand life, how things work and how we work. Each religion takes a different perspective on what/who God is and what all of that means. I was raised Catholic, but have distanced myself from the Church as there were too many things that did not align with what I felt in my heart. And the idea of God floating up in the clouds looking down on us, just didn’t feel right to me. I feel like God is something that unites us all and is present in everything, but I have yet to fully understand this and I am working on connecting the pieces. Yes, there are some Catholic beliefs I do not agree with; but there are many wonderful things I have learned that have stuck with me. All of the lessons about being kind, how to treat your neighbor and how to treat and respect yourself – those lessons are tucked within the folds of my heart and ever present in my mind. Lessons about being kind, loving and grateful. Lessons about sympathy, empathy and doing what is right. Lessons on forgiveness, love and family. You find such lessons in most religions. Most religions emphasize the importance of caring for your mind, caring for your body and caring for your heart (soul).
In my recent quest to find myself and a greater meaning for my life, I have been paying a lot of attention to other peoples’ views, ideas and feelings. I have been reading and listening to the thoughts of others with a careful ear and open mind and heart. There is an idea out there, a belief, that we are God. God lives within us. We are all connected and are a manifestation of God. When the word trinity rolled through my mind today, I thought I might just be on to something here. I have long believed that we interpret certain universal truths the best way our human minds can, and assign them names and values to the best of our ability. Words like God, soul, love, connection, dream, devil, redemption, miracle, right and wrong – all ascribed to feelings we try to understand.
Now, here comes my moment of revelation. My thought: during mass and prayer, it is common practice to say “The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” while signing the cross on your body. The Father: touch your forehead (the mind). The son: touch your lower chest or navel (body). And the Holy Spirit: touch each shoulder once (your heart and soul lies within). Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of this.
I am getting closer. This makes sense. Mind, body and heart.
I really do some of my best thinking while driving in my car.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
P.S. What do you think? I welcome any comments or feedback. Still mulling this over…
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”
Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, 1600.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. How very true, this notion that it doesn’t matter what you call something; it only matters what it truly is. But do we all apply this in our everyday life?
Let’s say for example, we have a woman named Jane. Jane grew up in Ohio, has two loving parents, three siblings, is a widow with a four year old son, and is wickedly smart, funny and kind. She is a wonderful friend and the kind of person that would give her jacket to a shivering stranger. Now, what does Jane do for a living? Jane is a Politician. Jane is a Pediatric Nurse. Jane is a Preschool teacher. Jane is a Preacher. Jane is a Prostitute. Is Jane by any other name, still as sweet?
Think about that for a second.
Did you hesitate for a moment on any of those occupations? And if so, why?
People are complex. It can never be as simple and as black and white as you may like it to be. We all possess many character traits, attributes, strengths and weaknesses. What is important to remember, is that you should not discount someone or their character because of one thing. It is not black and white. One thing does not cancel out another.
Jane is wickedly smart, funny and kind. She is a wonderful friend and the kind of person that would give her jacket to a shivering stranger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am going to carry this thought with me today.
Yours truly,
Erin Terese
erin terese 